I work as a bartender, and I see different faces and personalities all the time. If there is one thing that I truly have learned, is that there will ALWAYS be negative people. As binary as it sounds, there will always be a fight between good and bad.

We can call these people, “negative Nancies”. Most of the times, these negative people are not just negative in general, but negative directly towards others, and that is when it becomes dangerous.

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

The first reason why negative people are so dangerous is that they can easily contaminate a group of people in any scenario.

Let’s say that someone walks into a bar and sits next to a group of three other people. This negative person can start talking ill about a certain politician on the television, and the other group might find something relatable and jump in… its just human nature.

Unfortunately, not everyone has the awareness and consciousness to feel the negative energy being detrimental to the social environment. Its also the law of averages, there is bound to be so many people that hate the same politician, and feel strongly about it.

The really bad thing here, is that when these birds of a feather get together, then anyone else with a rational statement as to why this person can be considered good… will get eaten alive by the first group that hates the politician.

Now, politics is probably not the best example, but association is that powerful.

FOLLOWING THE MASSES? MAYBE NOT.

In middle school, I was a shy kid. That meant that I ate lunch with just two of my closest friends in school while all of the “popular kids” sat together in the large lunch tables.

With my situation, I noticed a lot about these “popular kids”. They all acted the same. Strange, right?

For me it was. I noticed that they never really had much to show for their popularity other than be mean to other kids. Now, this isn’t a post of pity or pointing out bullying or anything.. hear me out!

This happens in all areas of society, not just middle schoolers. People find comfort in being like everyone else, because it is “safe” not to be criticized for standing out. Why is that? We tend to conform to what makes sense in our current environment. If 95% of the population wears sneakers, do you think 50% of that 95% will begin to wear boots instead? Highly unlikely, because if the grand majority is doing it, so will the rest.

In Colombia, we have a saying, “para donde va Vicente? Donde va la gente!” — “Where is Vincent going? Where everybody else is going!” —- in other words, birds of a feather, flock together. 

SOCIAL PROOF

Now, this all leads to one of my favorite topics of all time. Social Proof. I read this concept in a book called Contagious by Professor Jonah Berger of the University of Pennsylvania.

This concept is simply the proof people get from seeing others do something.

Example: I am a bartender, and one thing I noticed is that when guests see the tip jar full, they are more inclined to place a dollar inside than if the jar was empty.

The reason for this is because by instinct, people assume the actions of others in any given situation in the effort to show “correct” behavior in front of others. Therefore, the assumption with the tip jar is that someone already put several dollars in the tip jar. The person contemplating adding another dollar or two, does so to be able to avoid looking like a bad person in front of all of the people who DID add tips.

After all, nobody wants to be the bad guy!

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In all, it is fascinating to see how society has been hard-wired to follow some things that don’t make a lot of sense. Conversely, there are groups of people who create amazing examples of leadership, and positivity.

I always like to remember: no matter who I am around in the moment, I am ALWAYS influencing people through my actions. I would like to be recognized and remembered for the positive actions in my life, and for living the life of serving others!

Birds of a feather flock together. Question is, which feather are you?